If Only
by RadicalLoser
Summary: If only we could go back. to that time when we had each other...  Clack. Angst. little blood. very little blood, well, for me


Fire….buring. I could see silver hair through the black smoke and the orange flames. Buildings falling from the orange flames. Corpses of my friends and family rested at the man's feet. He turned towards me, his emerald eyes pierced into my blue ones. I could see his fist curled up, holding a man by the collar, almost choking him. He lifted him up, the raven haired man turned to me. Silent pleads. So silent, hard to hear. His bright blue eyes filled with, fear? Not fear, he was never afraid. It was blame, he was blaming me. I failed to protect him along with her.

The silver haired man slowly pushed his sword into his chest. Blood slid down the blade. His screams made no noise. The sound of sparks and the smell of smoke… now blood filled the air.

_Zack. Zack. Zack. Zack. Zack. Zack. **Zack…**_

The raven haired man's blood hit the floor. Pooling underneath him as the silver haired man lifted him higher into the air. Zack's body slid down the blood stained blade. He screamed. And screamed. And screamed. And screamed. I tried running towards him but flames blazed in my path, licking up the corpse's flesh and myself. I couldn't feel the pain but I knew it hurt. I wasn't dying. Why couldn't I do anything? Why can't _I _die instead of them? I tried to scream. My voice was muffled. My words sounded like nothing. I could hear more buildings collapse, deafening the sound of the raven haired SOILDER's screams.

The screams turned into blood curling screeches.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry__. **I'm sorry…**.._

I fell to the ground, forgetting the flames that threatened this village. My clothing began to burn, my skin melting off of my flesh. I could suddenly feel eyes glaring into my back. Eyes of hate. Jealously. Blame. Sorrow. Pity. Lost love. Lost friends. Even myself.

I stared into my palms. Hating myself, hating him. Hating my weakness. Hating how weak I was, hating how I could never to anything. I should be the one dead. I brought my burned hands to my dirtied face. I could feel my hair singe at the flames. I stared into nothing in horror, fright, hate, sorrow, all things that made me, me. The pain was too much.

_Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please__. **Please…make it stop…**_

I could see the silvered haired man swing his blade, the body of my lover fell to my side. I brought my hands down from my face slowly from shock. The flames evaded us know, letting me see the corpse of his. I stared in horror. I could hear chocked breathing of Zack's. He turned to me, his eyes hardening, turning cold.

'_It's…all your fault.' _Zack breathed.

I could hear all those voices of those I knew in that one sentence. I choked on my breath. I gasped for the breath. I looked up. The silvered haired man smirked. His emerald eyes becoming slits. He suddenly thrust his sword into my chest. Blood welled and flowed out of me. I could see the grins of everyone's pleasure of my pain. I looked down at Zack, his eyes reflected hurt, sorrow. Almost like they didn't want me to die, to suffer.

"_Cloud…"_ He whispered. The world slowly began going white. Orange flames faded yellow hues then white. The blood to a soft pink. The silvered haired man turned black then faded into a gray to white. I looked down to. Only Zack remained. He smiled a bright soft smile. The blood coming from his wound and the wound itself disappeared. "_Cloud…_" He reached his hands towards me. He stood up. His eyes clear. Happiness was shown in his body language.

He reached a hand toward me. "_C'mon Cloud."_ His voice seemed so milky and warm. I smiled up at him. Slightly flushed, I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up into his embrace. I smiled into his shoulder. Relief swam through my body. "_Cloud." _He whispered into my ear. His gripped tightened. Tears dropped down my face. I looked up at Zack…

...then my eyes opened. I looked around. _'just a dream'_ I groaned. I felt a weight on my body, I looked at the person hugging me. Long black hair was in my sight. "T-tifa?" I stammered. She quickly got up.

"Cloud!" She exclaimed. I looked at her.

" Wha-what happened?" I asked.

"You began to scream." Tifa looked at me worriedly. "Once I got into the room, you were screaming and franticly tossing and turning in your bed. I tried to wake you up by calling your name but it didn't work. You also once clawed at your face. When I tried to stop you, you began to lower your hands." I blinked. _'the body of my lover fell to my side. I brought my hands down from my face slowly from shock. The flames evaded us know, letting me see the corpse of his. I stared in horror. I could hear chocked breathing of Zack's. He turned to me, his eyes hardening, turning cold…_

I flinched at the memory.

"Cloud, you also began crying." Tifa was looking down at me. I noticed her grasp on my hand.

I smiled warmly at her. "It's fine." She narrowed her eyebrows at me, but Tifa knew me. Even if she persisted I wouldn't tell her. She also knew I dealt with my own problems.

"Fine." She sighed. "I'm going to make breakfast. You better have come down soon." She smiled softly then hopped off the bed then shut the door silently.

I stared at the door for a few minutes I turned my head away and laid down. '_it's all you fault_' I flinched.

I soon went over my dream, from the beginning to the end. No matter how it hurt. If only I could go back…

I bit the bottom of my lip. Tears began rolling down, I was embracing the dream. It was so much more than a dream. So much more….

_Zack…Zack…Zack…I'm so sorry._ Tears rolled down my face more quickly. I buried my face in the palms of my hands.

_I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I couldn't do anything for you Zack! I'm sorry… if only we could go back! If only…_

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Author:

just wanted to do something different. i like this better. xD

this is supposed to take place after FF7 but before FF 7 Advent Children. None of this characters belong to me. only the, er, story.

i think this is about 3 pages, wrote it in about 2 and a-half or 3 hours.

Poor Cloudy...but i love angst! ;3 if only i could plan something like this for AkuRoku. lol

well, tell me if you liked it or not! :D R&R plz~ 3


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